Are We Asking Ourselves About Love Or How Large Is The Bank Account? Security Versus Love, What Is Your Choice?
Who will be the love of our life seems to fall at the forefront of our minds, yet we seldom make decisions based on who we may love, rather whom we may enjoy a stable, secure, and protected future. Are we asking ourselves about love or how large is the bank account? Are we asking about trust or can we manage the bills each month? It’s nothing extravagant about growing up poor, even more so about being a poor man who cannot take care of his family, so it is completely understandable why financial earnings are important while determining our relationships with an individual. How important is the money in the relationship? We focus on the nice shoes, attractive cars, big money, in an attempt to attract the woman of our dreams, and find the thought process only attracts particular individuals in which limits our growth and prosperity. We find the money is worthless, if no compassion and love exists to hold the relationship together.
I often wonder, as a man, how important is security compared to love in a relationship?
How can we grow in a relationship, if our goals are limited to a flashy way of living with no sense of stability? We suppose to own homes right? We suppose own land right? How can we acquire these things if we are wasting our money on items that depreciate in value as soon as we buy them? It’s not that we buy the items per se, but the reason we are buying these items. I often wonder, as a man, how important is security compared to love in a relationship. Relationships are suppose to be about love, trust, loyalty, faithfulness, devotion, commitment, truthfulness, and the list can go on with words we often disregard when we first connect with a potential love of our life. It’s nothing to say, whoo she got a phat ass, oooh she sexy as ever, with no real rational to ever develop a sensible relationship with her. Im asking questions these day what is her credit like? Do she pay her taxes? How many kids do she have? All still not really considering love as each one of those questions impacts our financial standing within the relationship versus the foundation of love in the relationship.
The man dedicated to living life like a movie……
Even as a man, I looked at women with questions, which could fulfill my society driven, egotistical, fabricated standard. Subconsciously, so many movies have engrained in my mind to what my relationships should revolve around. For example, the true meaning of love within a relationship became lost as I truly expected things outside of reality and based my potential relationships on how Janet Jackson and Tupac appeared in “Poetic
Justice”. Or maybe I could live a life like Bill Bellamy in “How to be a Player” and have multiple woman. So many women, I can’t even keep track of them all, but still show love to them. I ask myself, how could you possibly show love to more than one woman? I had to fight a deep subconscious mind and develop a keen sense of reality, and realize what’s really important when it comes to relationships in its entirety.
Do we value security over love?
Through constant analytical processing, I have come to realize, humans are in search of security. I have also come to grasp, the security provided develops from the foundation of love within the relationship. Just because a man have money don’t mean he will spend on a woman. He has to love her before he drops some serious money in her hand. I have heard stories where, the man spent $3000 on every feature on his car, but fight daily to not pay his child support because he really don’t want the woman to have the money. I have heard stories of woman who fall in love with a man for the wrong reason, only to find out the financial stability did not equate to the love provided by the man who not as financially stable. I have heard stories of woman who fall in love because the sex was phenomenal only to realize the sex was provided for more women the she could ever imagine. This is post is not say that just because he is a man he will cheat, or because he has money he will not provide love, rather to analyze why we are falling for a particular person. What traits are important to ourselves for establishing a meaningful relationship without wasting each other’s time?
I’m asking these questions hypothetically, as I have evaluated them over and over in my mind with an attempt to rationalize my past behaviors within my previous relationships. I think about each negative behavior within my relationships prior and how I could have maneuvered differently to produce a better outcome. I made conscious decisions to deliberately sabotage relationships because I didn’t want to be married at the time to some pretty prominent women in my past. It’s been multiple woman who may been the one for my future, but was lost because I was not willing to commit to the excellence of the relationship. I want to end this post with a question, do we value the love and meaning of a relationship enough to base our decisions on whom our potential relationship will develop or will the financial security continue to be our driving force of determining our potential relationships?
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