How Do You Feel Negative Interactions Impact Your Current Relationships?

How do you feel the interaction during adolescents years impact your current relationships today?


With more post, more questions get posed as if I am some kind of love doctor or something. I think its more so people have a unique opportunity to express feelings without judgement on a different platform about sensitive topics. So a follower of the blog posed a question I thought was pretty interesting. She asked “how do you feel your negative interaction during your adolescents years impact your current relationships? I had to think long and hard as my adolescent years was a while ago, but when I thought about it, I came to the conclusion that my adolescent years shape my insight and how I approach relationships in my current years and how I interact in my current relationships as I don’t want to commit the same type of actions as before. I aim to cultivate quality relationships these days as, the negative world is getting lonelier and colder and you need a quality individual to build with for the rest of the years we have given on this earth.

I remember looking in the mirror trying to determine what exactly to say a pretty girl, who I knew nothing about, but wanted to get closer. I remember writing little notes down on paper to decipher what would be appropriate for me to say to a girl I might like, but didn’t want to fumble on my words. Then I begin to realize that these girls was just as lost as I was and we are all trying to find our way to the end goal of love. I actually have a friend from back during that era which was a girl, who really help me understand how to communicate on an intellectual level. We use to have conversation about all types of intelligent ideologies and begin to shape the type of woman I would like to communicate with on a daily basis.

I was an athlete, so it was plenty of girls who was checking me out and I didn’t even know it. I suffered from a lack of confidence when it came to talking to girls during that time because of the lack of quality male role model figure to shape my communication and interaction with a girl. As cool as everybody made it seem, I really didn’t lose my virginity until late in my adolescent years and felt uncool because I was the only dude who had not experienced the great phenomenon of SEX. The adolescent years were a strange time with so much innocence. I can honestly say, I loved hard during that era of life and was fortunate to experience young love before the reality of relationships ever came to the forefront of my mind.

Currently though, the times are different, my mind is different, my actions are different, as I understand over time the games I played with women impacted their life negatively in more ways than none. I have had woman come tell me how bad of a person I was during that time. I have also had some women come and tell me how much the games hurt their heart as wells as their mental state to the point of suicidal thoughts. I was devastated by these responses as I never had any intentions on hurting anybody in a such a manner. I really didn’t understand the impact of the manipulation on women until the manipulation was placed upon me in my future years, in which I will speak on at a later time.  At the time I really didn’t understand what I was doing but, I have reconcile with God and each woman for my negative behavior to the best of my ability.

I am interested to see how the adolescent years impacted your interaction within relationship at this time. DO you have a person who you remember scarred you, but you find a way to overcome the heartbreak and have a successful relationship in the present time. Do you still hold a grudge on the actions committed to you? I found a way to forgive each and every person who have done me wrong in a relationship. Im eager to hear your thoughts on how you recover from toxic situations. We are all human and if we find a way to build our way to forgive those past moments, I think we can find a way to deliver our true selves to somebody who deserve everything we have to offer to the most current relationship.  Drop a replay below so we can talk about it. Oh yea, don’t forget to subscribe. Love on Fire podcast on the way….. Stay up good Folks!!

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17 Comments

  1. Well for me it plays a lot into it. I was never given the proper blue print of how a man should treat his Queen from dad, and I was never shown by my mother how a woman should treat her King. I struggle with relationships a lot. I want to be loved and I want to love. Either I get with someone who is just as lost as I am or I get with a man who doesn’t have the patience to deal with me..

    1. This is the case for many on this earth. I think it’s more about defining our own selves as a person to decipher what we want from a person. Once we get older , we can’t use the excuse of lack of fathers and guidance for our own push for our own excellence . We all deserve what you are asking for but we have to work at ourselves and sacrifice for what we want out of our relationships ….

  2. Molestation. It impacts your intimacy with your partner. Regardless of your age and the amount of time that has passed, your brain still associates sex/sexual acts to the molestation.

    1. This is pretty deep concept to digest. It amazing how the innocents is rip away from such inhuman actions and how it really cripples us in life to move forward with an opportunity to pursue love and happiness . Appreciate you sharing as it may impact somebody positively by knowing they are not alone out her in the struggle .

  3. Very deep. But you know Ego speak here. We all could both feel negative impacts in us right from our adolescence even into maturity but EGO would speak. This happens one both genders are ready to turn over a new leaf to live the good life on earth.
    Thank you
    Ofoe Ghana!

    1. Elaborate of “ego” for me if you will. We over here consider ego as sense of over confidence, in which actually hinders the relationship from growing . Instead of remaining humble in the relationship , the ego plays a big part in the separation. To live that good life with a person both parties have to be humble. Let me know what you thinking ? Appreciate the response for the dialogue on this post!

  4. Negative interaction from my adolescent years have impacted my current relationships because I’m always guarded, find it difficult to trust people, and think most people have the same motives.

  5. Childhood negativity def need to be addressed to have a positive adult life especially with relationships. If you never have recovery, how can you actually tell yourself ” I’ve moved on or I’m good”? It takes answers and healing or even counseling to work out bad childhood experiences.

    1. I definitely agree Kesha. We so often have relationship problems stemming from something going on internally and lash out on the person I put current relationship with no evident reason. I definitely appreciate your response, and be on the look out for more topics to come. Be sure to subscribe if you haven’t already!!

  6. I find that since I didnt date during those times, dating now feels foreign. A relationship was the very last thing on my mind. I didn’t think I was attractive but now, I know God was keeping me in hiding. I had my first relationship at 26 and now being single and working towards dating again, I still don’t feel like I know how it fully works. That to me is more So a reflection of confidence struggles and trusting self I had during my adolescence. While I know there is no cookie cutter way to date or be in a relationship, it does have its challenges. I DO know what I want and am willing/able to accept. That too is a reflection of learning myself and likes and needs which I never knew during my younger years.

    1. Definitely appreciate you sharing your experience. I think sometimes we learn the life lessons the best through practical experience. Especially the relationship aspect of it all. Off personal experience it wasn’t until I was in my 3rd relationship where I really could decipher what I really wanted out of the relationship part, but many things I had to learn about myself before I could give the next person what they want of the relationship. The aspect of being selfless versus selfish and still maintaining your self without letting the wrong individual take advantage as well. How do you think you will overcome the challenges of dating, or shuffling through the masses to find that one person that’s just right for you ? Thank you for your post, as these post help others facing the same problems in our own lives. 👌🏾👌🏾 be sure to subscribe and share the post if you feel compelled to do so✊🏿

  7. I think for me, it was being taking advantage of at an earlier age. In my last relationship with this guy (as an Adult), I constantly felt taken advantage of, be it my time, energy, thoughts, body. It was a constant fight. After I got to the point of “letting him in” so to speak, ultimately he REALLY started taking advantage. I too love hard, extend GRACE and forgive easily. Which makes it easy for one to take advantage.

    1. Yea it’s some heartless individuals in the world. I think I developed a concrete wall around my heart for people like those. The person who really wants to be there will do everything it take to knock that wall down and be in your life. It’s on us to recognize when they are putting in every effort to be there and reciprocate the feelings back to them. Love is an extraordinary feeling and should be preserved for a person who deserve. Just like them next time enough until they can be trusted to hold a piece of vulnerable merchandise. I have seen women take care of a pot better than their own heart. What do you think it will take for you to preserve your heart, but still be active in the search for love and prosperity within a relationship?

  8. There is an old saying that goes when I was a child I spoke as a child, I thought like a child;but when I became an adult (man or woman) I put away childish things.
    There are so many steps to healing from your past. First gain knowledge of self; self-worth, selflessness, self-respect. Secondly surround yourself with people who want to help grow mentally in a positive why with no strings attached.
    Thirdly, practice makes perfect; you can’t learn from your mistakes If you never make any. Please know there is no blueprint to life only life experiences.

    1. Life experience are the true teachers, over any books, over any sayings. If we don’t ever go through anything, we really only learning about what others are saying, which does not resinate well in our minds. We really develop a grasp of the reality of life when we are presented with problems and solve them. Definitely appreciate you posting on the blog and agree with what you are saying. More post on the way. Have a great day Peace Keeper

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