Back in February of 2010 during the CIAA, I almost died from alcohol poison. I engulfed the liquor until my body could not consume anymore and blacked out. Some cheap Pinnacle vodka that delivered me to one of the darkest places ever in life without even knowing how to escape. I remember looking around for my phone the day after. I found the phone and could not think of a soul I could call on to help me, but maybe my mom and or my cousin. I was reluctant to call because I was so embarrassed from my behavior the night before even though I could have been dead in dusty hotel called the Microtel in Charlotte NC. I also did not want my mom know about what happened nor look in the face of my cousin who I knew I had embarrassed the night prior. Luckily I had a friend, whom I would say her name, but came through and brought me some crackers and Ginger Ale to settle my stomach and get going for the next night of adventures at the CIAA.
In September of the same year, in this picture, of course it was one of those nights, where I almost died, but not from alcohol poison, but from a lifestyle in which kills us slowly or suddenly depending upon our fate. One of those nights where I might have drove drunk on interstate 40, drove drunk on highway 210 on a curve in Pender County getting some head from a country chick who knew the team had money. Only to randomly have sex with her to cope because I just lost a ton of money $2203, to be exact, playing with her emotions knowing I would never be a king for her life. A lifestyle enjoying the company of people who may not have the best interest in my future endeavors.
So I put a few things into perspective and ask myself what type of life do I really want to live. How cool is it to be on the floor drunk with no purpose of living. I remind you at this point, I had no children and or a master degree. I also ask myself what type of people do I really need around me. It took seven almost eight years for me to realize the purity of my life and its excellence is derived from a choice inside of me to remain positive in the midst of the negativity. I have choice to appreciate the life that has been granted, for which I strive to be the best father,brother,son, man, and person I can be, delivering a positive energy to the world in spite of all the negative energy that covers our surroundings.
I was raised in a baptist church, however I lost touch with religion around the same time, but I never lost touch with GOD. Certain morals engrained in my mind held my self conscious accountable as GOD carried in the face of adversity. I owe to God and God only giving me the ability to search for a deeper meaning of love and life. No man or woman could deliver the serenity to my soul.
I had no idea, when this picture was being taking, he was actually removing all the individuals one by one who inflicted harm upon my progress and deception to my kindness. He added a sense of reality to the fantasy dreamscape I was living during the time. I was fortunate to remain living while battling all types of depression. I am fortunate to be here and still be smiling, knowing any moment could be my last. The alcohol was polluting my mind to the point, I actually believed I was cool with a drink in my hand. I actually believed that because I was on stage, I needed to be drunk so people would gravitate to my music. I still feel the urge from time to time to drink, however growing into a better me, continues to fight each moment. The alcohol was only a contribution to the bigger problem. I will discuss the bigger problem in future post.
Sometimes in life you have to strip yourself from the opportunity to do wrong. You have to remove yourself from the immediate circle of those who do you wrong as peer pressure is one of the most powerful influences known to man. It’s a little more lonely these days as it’s harder to find people on the same positive lane, but I manage. I was drinking cheap liquor and beer in a hole in the wall in North Carolina and now I drink green smoothies with dragon fruit in Toronto Canada.
Many memories derived from this picture haunts me, but I didn’t come this far to drop off here. Sorry for the long winded post, but just perfect for a throwback Thursday . Stay up good folks!!!