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Would you continue a relationship if you found out your partner was bi-sexual?


Would you continue a relationship if you found out your partner was bi-sexual?

In a recent post “The Bedroom Significance” I was posed with a question from an individual whom I have communicated via this website and other social platform. At first I was stomp and  did not know how to answer the question at all. However, I begin to analyze the world in today’s time and really came to the conclusion that the particular question is a probable scenario in today’s relationships. I am interested in the response to this question. It definitely comes with a double standard, as woman receiving this question or a woman giving this questions pose certain conflicts and challenges to societies’ assumptions.

If a man is found with another man, he can’t be considered Bi-sexual. He is then labeled “gay” by society and can’t come back to a woman after being with a man. However, it is possible for a woman to be in a relationship and jump the fence back and forth until they find the love they are wanting and yearning for no matter the sex of their partner to spend the rest of their life.  I am interested to see the response to this particular topic.


Response

My response to her question was this:

As a man, if I found out my woman was bi-sexual, I’m asking myself how will I be included in the sexual equation and is this really a relationship between her and I at that point? If we just together, what are we doing together? What are we accomplishing together? If she is bi-sexual chances are she is indecisive in her decisions with her sexuality and deciphering between the two sexes and exploring the possibilities. Im a grown man at this point and when entering into a relationship I want a concrete decision as it impacts my life as well as her life. It’s nothing wrong with a choice between two sex, however will I really call it a relationship? When two people are and involved and third parties comes in the mix controversy is normally created because of human nature being territorial regardless if the third party is the same sex or opposite sex.

I don’t think I would call it a relationship if she want to entertain another women within the relationship. I think I would further explore the possibilities of finding somebody who I could have to myself and give all of myself to accomplish my goals and minimize of the distraction of another party in the equation of the relationship. I don’t think i would continue as a relationship, but as a friendship, or friends with benefits type deal to have fun with life versus entertaining a relationship with that particular woman.

When I think about relationships and the end goal of a relationships i.e. marriage, having another party distracting from the end goal would separate me from any type of intimate dealings with that woman on that particular level or achieving anything further. So to me it does not matter if the person is a woman or a man, the relationship could no longer be if the other partner is entertaining somebody else sexually.

What are you folks thoughts on this matter? Comment below, I will be sure to hit you back!!!  I want to hear from you folks!! Love On Fire Podcast Coming Soon. For now we just communicated up here so we can further our progress in our relationships.


Further Conversation Questions to Ponder!

Do you think is ok to have an another party intertwine in a relationship of two people? Why or why not?

33 thoughts on “Would you continue a relationship if you found out your partner was bi-sexual?

    1. Tiffany Williams says:

      I just can’t see myself with a man that’s been with another man. It’s just nasty. It’s one thing when you don’t know. Cause with the way these men are now you will never know. But to know he been with a man, nahhhh I will pass on that.

      1. That’s interesting Neane Neane. In this world, it’s hard to know everybody’s feelings towards certain topics. And most will not voice options about it. Glad you didn’t hold back the reason why.Thanks you for your post. We will be dropping more topics and I want you to continue to put your TWO cents in if you feel compelled. Stay Up

    1. ha we got one yes…and interesting….so you saying the the chick licking the chick is more important than the relationship and union between two people…bringing excitement to the relationship approach…..

    1. That’s a legitimate answer to me, I agree. If it suppose to be a relationship, then why is the 3rd party involve. IF that what it is then, when have to find somebody else who can fit the bill. Regardless if it’s a man or woman. interesting you stayed away from the bi-sexual approach and kept it funky with the relationship approach. Good answer. appreciate you thoughts

      1. To me that is a selfish act. The other person wants to have their cake and eat it too. You might as well say it’s ok for them to cheat on you. If you allow certain behavior then, in my opinion, you are unsure of yourself.

  1. TBH….Yes i could continue to date that person only if we are monogamous. I feel that a bi-sexual person simply finds themselves attracted to both sexes. It doesn’t mean (to me) that they aren’t able to settle down with one person and have a long lasting relationship that leads to marriage. I am a person who loves hard and if im in love with that person and i feel that we are both 100% all the way into each other ONLY, then what he has done prior to me is irrelevant…..Call me a fool but unconditional love shouldn’t have conditions. I also agree that there’s a double standard to bi-sexuality depending on the sex of the person. I am not sure why…i couldn’t even begin to give you a valid reason but I do consider a man to be gay if he has ever had any sexual contact with the same sex unless it was forced and/or find himself sexually attracted to the same sex even if he has never acted on it. On the other hand I feel like a woman would just be experimenting in most cases. **Shrugs** Thats just my 2 cents…….I also want to add that, i would be fearful that one day my man may decided to become a “Caitlyn Jenner” after a full life of marriage and kids. I think that may always be In the back of my head. In this world you never know what can happen!! Just follow your own heart which should be lead by God! Let Him guide you! -Mrs. Ojo

    1. Ha, yea about the best detailed response. I see you are taking a unique approach with topic.

      feel that a bi-sexual person simply finds themselves attracted to both sexes. It doesn’t mean (to me) that they aren’t able to settle down with one person and have a long lasting relationship that leads to marriage.

      Now this part? Your saying a long lasting relationship is obtainable even though they are attracted to different sexes. The only reason i don’t fully agree with this is because the different personalities each sex pose to each other as a relationship persist. A man is completely different from a woman in that regard, so having a lasting relationships, i just don’t know because it’s always gong to be something missing.

      I am a person who loves hard and if im in love with that person and i feel that we are both 100% all the way into each other ONLY, then what he has done prior to me is irrelevant…

      So this part, i don’t think i agree with as a man’s history highly correlates with his present day action. We grow and mature, however we as men don’t really change. The part that say a man can no longer be a man when he is another man is one of the strangest phenomenon known to man. Greeks, and romans where fierce gladiators but where known to have intimate relations with men. Nevertheless I think his history is very important to how you decide to further pursue with a relationship with a man.

      Do you think that he should tell you this information at least right?

      i would be fearful that one day my man may decided to become a “Caitlyn Jenner” after a full life of marriage and kids.

      This is a natural fear, which confuses me why you would choose to participate with a man whom history depicts that of a bi sexual man. The natural fear seem as if it would be call the man less of a man which in turn would represent a image of a “catiyln jenner” in which how could he be the man of his family while loving on what a woman would love on.

      Just follow your own heart which should be lead by God! Let Him guide you!

      This part, I don’t know if God told us to love both men and women sexually. I do love all human beings though which I definitely follow God guidances daily. But sexually, I don’t think it was meant for me to be involved with a man or a woman to be involved with a woman while in a relationship. We should be true to our partners and true ourselves and true to GoD during the journey to find love.

      Great response, which really pose questions for the world to analyze on a deeper plane. Our existence is determinate upon our interaction with one another. Two people bonding and creating offspring. I aim to follow the path towards what I feel in my heart is right. Appreciate you detail post. Be sure to be engage with further interaction to come. Thank you for your post Kim!!

      What kind of questions do you have to pose to the world ? We will repost and Get a discussion going about it!!

      1. OK Bro:

        1. I do believe that a long lasting relationship is obtainable bc we as humans (whether we admit it or not) desire long lasting relationships in general but especially romantic ones. That’s exactly why the LGBT community is fighting to have the same rights as a straight couples. They want to settle down, have a family and be recognized for it! If the person is “Bi”, I feel it means that they can settle down with either sex but most of the world just sees them as freaky, greedy whores! That’s what we as people need to grow beyond.

        2. Of course I would want to know this past information just as much as I would want to know the past relationships of any man. It helps to find commonality and determine how you would move forward with the relationship…..that’s what dating is for!! However, if you are truly a changed man or woman, you should be treated the way your current life reflects. I wholeheartedly believe that people can, will and do change! I was once a whore but nobody who has known me over the last 20 years could have ever guessed that bc I currently live the lifestyle of a kept woman!

        3. I understand why you are confused here! I am very conflicted with this part too. But let me put it another way……my heart would want to stay bc I love him but my mind would be well aware of the possibilities that could arise if I continue the relationship. 95% of the time, I follow my heart. It’s something my mom taught me. “Hope for the best but prepare for the worst”

        4. I think we are talking about 2 different things here. I am in NO WAY saying that I would continue the relationship while he is involved with another man. I would only proceed with a monogamous relationship PERIOD. Also, God would NEVER lead us astray. Therefore, following his lead would only send us to places that are meant for our good! I DO NOT believe he would lead us into a three way relationship. I do agree with your last statement Ti be true to God, our partners, and ourselves on the quest to find love or just in life as a whole.

        Lastly, I don’t have any questions I’d like to pose at the moment…..but give me some time, I will think of something. Stay Blessed Bro. I love what you are doing! SN- Call me Kimberly, pls

        –Mrs. Ojo

  2. Nope. Known people with bi sexual partners that thought they were going to get the world from it. Instead got nothing different from being in a heterosexual relationship. PROBLEMS! Invited another person,several, in the bedroom and of course got that one that decided they wanted that person to themselves.

    1. Yes this is true Ayana, the relationship should be for two people. Three people somebody is bound to become hurt , jealous as many emotions are intertwined within a relationship. It makes it worst they are actually in the same sexuality .

  3. No, I would not remain in a relationship after discovering the latter. Since I believe in one man and one woman, I will not improvise those basic original natural principles. I want you to ponder on the meaning “procreation”. The family structure will not survive. Gay is a sensitive topic for most because we tend not to want to “offend” a chosen lifestyle in modern-day societies. However, if we look at these issues from our “origins”, it did not exist. My perspectives are simple. I frequently side with basic concepts. I apply the Laws of MAAT. Our ancestors indoctrinated it an abomination to the laws of nature. QA

  4. No I would not continue a relationship if I was to found out my man was having sexual relations with another man! The fact that my man would connect with another man, alone would not sit well with me! I couldn’t continue the relationship because in the back of my mind I would always questions his loyalty, his thoughts, his fantasy, etc. I’m a type of woman that stay true and committed to the person beside me. So, this action would let me know that they guy I’m with clearly doesn’t know what he wants and we are just wasting each other time. I don’t consider men being bi-sexual. It’s either your gay or straight. If the man that I’m with have sexual relations with another man over me let’s me know that he’s not interested. Especially, if he didn’t find another woman to have sexual relations with during that time. But, regardless of the sex it’s still disrespecting the person and the relationship. No one wants to invest time or energy with a individual that’s going to step out on them or to find ways to make it work. When you don’t know if it will happen again or how connected they are to the other person.

    Just my thoughts..

    1. I agree , time waisted is something we can never get back. It’s clear a solid relationship could never exist fully with a indecisiveness within either of the parties. Do you think it’s possible if a person develops a sense of choice , they could possibility be equipped for a relationship ? I think it’s a time period where people have to figure things out for them selves, but I don’t think they should bring people along in a relationship while they are figuring that part of life out.

  5. I think your response above was well written and I like how you took the focus off the fact of her being bi sexual or exploring her sexuality and refocused back on the the bigger picture. Is this what you want out of a relationship. Or are y’all on the same page with the same end goals. This is true weather male female. However male sexuality him being gay or bisexual has always been a touchy subject for most females. We simply don’t want to share our man. A woman doesn’t see bringing another woman in as sharing. For one it’s for her. Then it’s often viewed as a treat for her accepting male partner. Then it become for both of them. We hear about this all the time. Now on the other hand. We don’t hear about woman accepting her mans man into their bedroom. No way! Why? Because we don’t want to share. Then we are intimidated. There is no way we can compete. That’s scary for a woman who would probably only do something like to make her man happy. Unless she a super freak. But Now she gotta think about the fact that damn he might want what this guy got that She can’t provide for him. Not a good situation to be in as woman from my perspective. Personally I think relationships are meant for two. For me, male an female. But whatever floats your boat. But two people who love each other and are committed to the same common goal.

    1. Great response!! I think you hit it on the nail with this one. I learned something about women in this response. I didn’t know woman was as territorial as men. I also see how a man engaging with a man could blow a woman’s entire existence as they are giving their all to a relationship only to find out they are not wanted and the man actually wants another man. The common goal is essential to persevering in life. Even something as simple as what two people are eating can impact the way they build together. For example, she likes healthy food, and he likes greasy food, one is going to always have a problem everyday. To bring it back to the topic at hand the information should be upfront and coming if they are bisexual to give everybody a choice to participate without being deceived. Thanks you for your post. We will be dropping more topics and I want you to continue to put your TWO cents in if you feel compelled Leatha. Stay Up in the free world Leatha!! And I appreciate all the support you have giving me through all theses years!!! Be sure to subscribe to the blog for future post.

  6. Not at all. I’m not sharing what’s mine. Too many feelings get involved and I don’t believe you truly get 100% of that person since they play both sides.

    1. Great answer Brandon. I definitely agree with you 100%. Cant let a person play both side while still being in a relationship. Quick question. Do you think it’s ok to Cheat on the woman you are in a relationship with ? Why do you think we as men cheat on a good woman? We tend to cheat on what’s ours in a sense. Kevin hart syndrome. Thanks you for your post. We will be dropping more topics and I want you to continue to put your TWO cents in if you feel compelled Brandon. Stay Up!!! Be sure to subscribe to the blog for future post.

    1. Great answer , ju ju!! It’s about that timing and trust as a relationship needs time to develop. The choice to disclose the information before the relationship grows gives an opportunity for the decision to be mutual…

  7. There’s no such thing in my eyes as a man being bisexual..if you have relations with a man you are gay…& still have interest in women. Some women may not mind…I myself…will not knowingly be in a relationship with a gay man. As far as women…the question is if she is bisexual…not unfaithful. I don’t have interest in women so my answer possibly is biased…but one only does what you allow. It’s ok for her to have interest in women. As long as you’re her only interest in your relationship. If she wants to have both at he same time..then your problem isn’t her sexuality…but her infidelity and at that moment you have to decide what you deserve and what you’re willing to accept

    1. Whoa this is interesting coming from you considering, but Im glad you voice your opinion about the matter. Infidelity is exactly right in my opinion as well. It’s don’t matter who the extra party is existing in the equations, or their sexuality, they should not be there. Thanks you for your post. We will be dropping more topics and I want you to continue to put your TWO cents in if you feel compelled Antionette. Stay Up in the free world!!! Be sure to subscribe to the blog for future post if you have not already.

  8. Personally I don’t think it’s okay. A relationship is made up of two. I feel Either way it gones a third person cancels out the relationship. So,No I would not continue a relationship with anyone that I found out that was bi-sexual.

    1. Shell, Im glad you spoke your thoughts on the post. Most will hold back but I agree with you. A relationship is suppose to be with two people, so regardless it’s wrong if another partner is involved within the relationship without the consent of each party. Thanks you for your post. We will be dropping more topics and I want you to continue to put your TWO cents in if you feel compelled Veronica. Stay Up wherever you are in the country…i know you was loving New York!!! Be sure to subscribe to the blog for future post.

  9. Hell no! Although I’m not against same sex partners, I cannot consider being with a bi-sexual man before or during the relationship. The other man he may like could be 100% gay and I would be left out of all the fun. Bump that! Why can’t we all have our cake and eat it too?

    1. Im glad you was the voice a reason, as I know it’s a sensitive topic. In this world, it’s hard to know everybody’s feelings towards certain topics. And most will not voice options about it. Glad you didn’t hold back the reason why you feel how you feel..Thanks you for your post. We will be dropping more topics and I want you to continue to put your TWO cents in if you feel compelled Veronica. Stay Up on the West Side!!! Be sure to subscribe to the blog for future post.

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