Romance, Unfortunately We Lose Interest, but Why IKE ELLIS?
Losing Interest In My Relationship Without Romance by IKE ELLIS
Going to start with a quote I read:
“I will love you more than I did yesterday, but never as much as I will tomorrow.”
Romantic words; right?
A romantic gesture, something as simple as walking in the park spending quality time with a person I love. Creating our own island, where nobody can come and interfere with our moment. I would bring flowers to her job to display my affection but the words in the card would highlight the moment when we first established a connection. When I want to be romantic I like to capture the fire between our hearts and let it exist at the front of my mind.- IKE ELLIS
Without every reading a definition to the word romance, I attempted to describe romance from my point of view.
I looked up the definition to romance.
“A feeling of excitement and mystery associated with love.”
“True romance is doing something special or unexpected for someone you love, even though you don’t have to.”
A few definitions came back for my search results. It occurred to me, that though I have heard the word numerous of times, felt as if I was being romantic plenty of times, I never took the time to actually learn the meaning of the word “Romance”.
As I read the definitions, it also occurred to me that after I engaged with a person sexually; I had never continued to be romantic throughout the relationship. I begin to analyze my self as a person, thinking about the selfish attitude that has hindered my relationships.
Now, was it an action or re-action I often wonder? I aim to be respectful as my mom taught correctly, but my level of romance provided has nothing to do with maintaining respect; right? We should respect all humans who respect us. Is it possible, that a generation of women who are constantly disrespected feel a sense of romance when they feel they are being respected? Sometimes old fashion is highly needed to maintain a grip on our relationships. Considering the technological advancement presented daily we lose track of romance. Everything happens fast and impulsively, we lose the opportunity to build upon our relationships with romance.
Eventually, the excitement leaves; and the person is no longer a mystery because our actions began to resemble a consistent boring routine. I would do special things for a person because I felt like I had to or was expected to do, but would not feel romantic even though the actions were truly genuine. You know the feeling when the relationships starts to feel like a job you hate, but you making good money so you keep working.
I could see movies such as “Ghost” or “The Notebook” and think to myself, that’s what love should resemble. However, the average movie is only an hour and twenty minutes and it’s over. Life, marriage, romance, commitment, should last much longer than a mere hour and twenty minutes right? So the next question that enters mind my mind, “how am I really going to make the romance last forever?” “Should the romance be mutual?”
As the man, we are expected to provide the romance as form of chivalry, courting, and dating. What happens when all lies and half-truths are over and the reality of what that specific person is all about is presented? Should we, as men feel as if the woman should not romance us? I have honestly run into women who expected to be romanced without providing any romance back. I have run into women who didn’t expect to be romanced at all, but desired to provide all the romance. I have run into some women who didn’t expect to be romanced or provide any romance.
It was highly interesting and easy to establish relationships with women based on security blankets such as education, financial dependency, and disregard the ability to be love through something as simple a romance. I have entered relationships, knowing I didn’t love her but she was not lazy so we can make it work. I think it comes to a point where we have to choose our own happiness. We have to really determine exactly what we want in a relationship versus being with a person who we think make us happy because of the security they can offer. Its seems as if once those basic needs are met, the person was really never loved; therefore we find another person to fulfill the happiness we were yearning for initially.
Often we lose sight of being with a significant other on account to everything else life has to offer. We lose focus on what’s important, but expect to create a future with a person.
Whether good or bad, we as individuals have to search for some type of balance when it comes to romancing and being romanced. Though we hear the word constantly, do we really take the time to practice romance? Do we really keep the romance consistent within our relationships? Do hold sight of what’s important within the relationship aside from the life’s atrocities? Let’s try to keep the romance alive and the relationships spontaneous. Let’s refuse to be a casualty of love. We have the opportunity to control our relationships by conducting simple romantic gestures.
- “I will love you more than I did yesterday, but never as much as tomorrow”
This quote was very powerful to me. It means no matter how much time you are with a person; the relationship will continue to grow. With the love, the relationship will continue to thrive. I will love you more tomorrow!!! Wow!! Your thoughts are welcomed; your comments are needed… Thank you for reading….
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